I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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