I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
