I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
