I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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