Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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