is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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