that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
