Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
