i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
