you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
