so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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