so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
