we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
