I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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