Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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