Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
