I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize