Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
