He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
