my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
