We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize