You made me cry and you don't even care
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
