I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
