Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
