You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
