I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
