i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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