Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So apparently I’m into choking now
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
