goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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