Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Randomize