make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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