I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
