Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
