I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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