I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i've created a new STD.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
