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So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
