I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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