So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize