And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
