I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i drank out of a bidet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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