We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize