if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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