I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
