I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
