Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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