Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
