pop tarts are not kleenex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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