I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
