your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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