Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
