We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
