I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
