hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
