The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize