So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
