Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
