i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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