I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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