even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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