I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
