i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I believe in your delicious
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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