I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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