sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
