Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
